i’m not going to heaven as far as i’m concerned. when i was eleven i forgot what i had learned: how to read, how to write, how to ride a bike. i’ll learn again some other time. i wanna be just like my mother but everyone tells me i look more like my father. my mother's father is no longer alive. my father's mother, she died right after mine and i did too. cigarette smoke smells like the palm of her hand and it floats right above where i stand. exhausted from running down the street. it’s hard to breathe when it's only 14 degrees. and i am freezing. and now i’m wandering. i ain’t got no place to be. my destinations out of reach and no car will stop for me. so now i’m wondering what’s taking you so long or if something had gone wrong. what the hell is going on and on. i’m gonna die but i wont go to hell. something will happen but as far as i can tell i will float so high like smoke stuck in the sky, but i’ll get down somehow. goddamnit. the sound of jack hammers play over in my head as i listen to “there are some things i’d like to forget” over my head phones i can hear the long roads calling my name to go ahead. and i will just go ahead and i will stop all of this wandering. i ain’t got no place to be. my destinations out of reach. no car will stop for me. so now i’m wondering what's taking you so long or if something had gone wrong. what the hell is going on and on. see i’ve been chasing a new sensation while you’ve been wasting all your days since high school. we all get so angry but we never ask why. and i'm so sick of being angry so save me the time.
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